Supermarket Patience

A man in a supermarket was pushing a cart which contained, among other
things, a screaming baby. As the man proceeded along the aisles, he kept
repeating softly, "Keep calm, Thomas. Don't get excited, Thomas. Don't
yell, Thomas."

A lady watched with admiration and then said, "You are certainly to be
commended for your patience in trying to quiet little Thomas."

"Lady," he declared, "I'M THOMAS!"