T-Shirt Slogans

I childproofed my house, but they still get in.

On the front: 60 is not old.
On the back: ...If you're a tree.

My reality check just bounced.

Life is short, make fun of it.

I'm not 50. I'm $49.95 plus tax.

I'm not a snob. I'm just better than you are.

It's my cat's world. I'm just here to open cans.

Keep staring....I may do a trick.

We got rid of the kids. The cat was allergic.

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, and it's gone.

Every time I hear the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with
chocolate.